Working with 'wants'

Desire and difficulties need to be balanced. But in our times of plenty it could be that our children's wanting has become ‘weighted’ and a dominant force in the home. All children have wants, (adults too). Humans want what makes them feel good to avoid what makes them feel bad. I think our grandparent's generation had more fortitude to accept the 'less good' moments of life and if we hope to build better management of our children's wants, we must generate more gratitude of what we have, but also appreciate what we gain when we manage in 'dont want'-land. Our natural wanting includes safety and connection. But in today’s more secure and prosperous world our wanting has grown from ess

Encourage 'caring' more than 'trying'

‘Trying’ a concept we all ask of our children at one time or another. So we tell them you should try harder with math’, or ask them, ‘could you try and be nicer to your brother’? We want them to put effort into tasks and relationships and believe that additional 'push' will prove worthwhile. If you carry out a simple functional task, such getting a glass of waster, And add 'trying' do you do it? What bits of that task are you 'trying' in? Now if you add caring, or careful, that's a different matter. Caring requires that you move from a position of care-less and into care-more....which involves specific thinking about aspects of the job and how to add value to it. Carel

© Family SOS 2015