Coming Home - An Acceptance and Nurture Process for Parents
Our instincts are to try to adapt the behaviour of our children, but our children are OUR teachers and this course helps parents look at their own ability to manage those difficult family moments. It explores inner beliefs and long held perceptions that get in the way of actually looking and listening to what our child is trying to communicate in their behavior. It teaches the stages of being ‘present’ with struggle - to be conscious of thoughts, aware of ourselves, accepting of our dilemmas and compassionate towards ourself in our less-than-best parenting moments. Current course dates/times/locations listed on this page.
Homework battles are disruptive to family harmony and hard on parent and child. They often arise because focus is placed on ‘outcome’ - getting the homework done or doing it well. Switching to a ‘process’ method in which the parent learns to coach the child through the stages of starting, or through the mindset of doing homework well, can radically alter the drama. Learning these techniques you can work alongside your child, not pushing them along, but gently co-constructing the ‘how to’ of homework and working with choice - so your child feels less controlled and more cooperative in their struggle.
This is a one night course over three hours.
Resources For Parents
After Chinese New Year I am hoping to offer a monthly class for those interested in self-compassionate parenting - or in fact anyone interested in learning about self-acceptance....
87 Science Park Rd, (12 mins walk -Kent Ridge mrt)
91 McNair Rd,
(7 mins walk- Boon Keng mrt)
THis is a process of ...
NOT fixing everything on the outside, blaming or feeling the victim when things go wrong,
BUT of knowing the inner thoughts and feelings and being empathic to the self who experiences it. Recognising the internal struggle of what it is to be human with faults and failings and frustrations and fears, and generating the desire to sooth them.
Parenting 101 For Primary School Kids
A four week evening or day course.
This course looks at the basic ways to use discipline in a planned and well-prepared way. It unites the adults in the house to create rules, reminders, reinforcers and consequences that enable ‘flow’. It helps parents look at what motivates their child and what deters them from co-operation. It explores the obstacles to useful daily living together, and creates calm approaches that are respectful of one another and yet maintain clear boundaries, with the adults as leaders of home-rule. Understanding in this course will enable parents to generate SELF-motivation in their children, and reduce the telling, nagging and upsets that ensue when children are careless of household systems or the people they live with.
Parenting Your PRE-Schooler With Loving Consistency
This course looks at developmental stages and how to honour them, whilst encouraging maturity. It explores the very basis of how best to communicate, develop strong connection and keep control without power-battles. Within this course is the ‘crux’ of early parenting....getting a child to listen, respond, comply and care about others, whilst maintaining a healthy sense of self-competency and self esteem. It is an evening course lasting 3 hours.
Supporting Your Child's Emotional Life
This course looks at the stages children go through towards upset, anger, anxiety or tears. It enables parents to build a joint sense of what is working when things are calm, noticing and honouring all the ways your child does cope. It explains how to notice and mirror-back the clues that your child is beginning to feel challenged, the language to use and the approaches to take to slow the escalation of upset. It deals with developing clear boundaries so that the child is given choice about ‘tipping’ into more reactive behaviour or using strategies to manage better. Finally it finds many suggestions to assist the child with their biggest feeling whilst, at the same time, keeping the emotions of child and parent separate. This is achieved by useful planning for anger, fearfulness and overwhelm - an area we all need support with!
Attendance over two evenings is required.
Resources For Professionals
Katy also provides talks to teachers and parents about……
Managing Anger Outbursts
How to plan for explosive outbursts, the value of anticipating upsets, ways to use tantrums to learn to construct safety plans, dealing with grumpy morning behavior or general family irritability.
Managing Bedtime (or others) Anxiety
Exploring fears, planning for security, adding ‘silly’ to the scary thoughts, finding ways to self sooth, using courage and building on small successes.
Creating Emotionally Resilient Children
Teaching awareness of internal difficulty and its language, noticing problems, finding solutions, following through, reflective learning, feeling and growing inner strengths, creating optimism and cultivating coping and competencies.
Reducing Homework Battles
Co-constructed planning, understanding incentives and dis-incentives, focusing on process more than results, strategies to stay calm/conflict free/ Reducing blame and increasing courage and kindness. Including body strategies to support success.
Getting the morning or evening schedule up and running without a fight
learning to use visual planning and timing reminders. Envisioning success and reducing nagging. Creating cheer and avoiding panic. Generating self responsibility without rewards and punishments. Accommodating sensory or communication difficulties.
Increasing children’s thinking strategies
What is metta-cognition? Understanding why some children lag behind in this skill. How to encourage mindfulness without blame. Learning to add thoughts that are realistic, positive, brave or accepting. Problem solving and the value of anticipating, noticing and reviewing.
Sibling Quarrels and How To Manage Them
Fostering an environment of appreciation. Looking at qualities of difference in personalities rather than blame.
Actioning physical hurting behaviors. Reducing the ‘he said/she said’ re-escalation. Incentivizing cooperation.
Valuing Mistakes, Working With Wrong
Understanding the downside of perfectionist tendencies, seeing family influences, finding levels of success, working with values rather than goals, process proves more useful than outcomes, celebrating mistakes as learning opportunities, soothing our sense of ‘wrong’ and focusing on recovery
Using Rules, Reminders, Re-inforcers and Consequences
Reducing parent talk and moving into action. Moving away from praise and punish, and towards self motivation and self reflection.
Using what works more than what is ‘right’ and accessing what matters to a child to motivate for success.