September 19, 2019

Those too-familiar negative refrains that show up in every household….

‘Not fair’, ‘don't want to’ and ‘don't know’ 

Children, like adults, find it easier to frame their complaints in the negative so knowing what to do with the ‘not’s and the ‘don't’ is useful for parents.


Is an easy framing, and often simply translates to - "My way of looking a...

August 24, 2019

Wouldn't it be nice if we all had more patience?  Less ‘snap’ and more small-moments-of-waiting before reacting?  

Patience and practice go together – it is something that can be grown with active decisions to acquire a little more grace in our day to day lives.  Patience is not a simple waiting for something ‘bad’ to stop, it is more than that....

December 2, 2018

Risk is a process of stretching…of going beynd what is usually given.  It takes commitment and courage.  It is a considered decision to ‘stretch’ outside the comfort zone and usually creates some degree of discomfort.  

Emotional risk is different than practical risk.  Many people/children can extend themselves into a rough spo...

September 28, 2018

Some Pre-planning

  1.  Think carefully about when you invite children and for how long.  Don’t have someone over when you are very tired or stressed or busy and the ideal playdate is usually less than two hours

  2.  Plan ahead with your child

                          How long will the child stay?...

August 31, 2018

Are you giving til you fear you might give out…..Have the holidays sapped your strength?

To give your children a firm ‘No’ – assertive and without agression or threat…. You need to be able to say ‘yes’ to yourself ‘yes, I am worthy of working within limits’, ‘yes I am loved even when I keep boundaries’.  If you are clear about what you want to offer yo...

March 22, 2018

When children come home complaining.... Maybe you think it is nice that they are sharing problems, but what if they are simply off-loading and pouring their problems on to you and then not doing enough to help themselves with it?  Passing problems is easy... especially to a sympathetic ear who might come up with lots of suggestions of ways to 'fix' li...

January 18, 2018

Then stop….. Just stop.

Stop and notice how often they raise their voices so that they can pull you in and be saved from sorting out their own squabbles.  Stop and consider the value of conflict resolution and how useful it might be for your child to be able to manage disagreements.  Stop and develop a little trust that, with time support and opportuni...

November 27, 2017

Helping your children be less bothered by ‘bored’

Your children may be blessed to have rich lives with lots of adult support, entertainment, activities and treats.  This is delightful but might decrease their ability to manage moments that are boring…….(including those that are less stimulating, less novel, less lovely and less easy, or even less suppo...

August 22, 2017

Can we, or should we, save them from that......? 

Whilst some children strive for independence and autonomy, others hold back.  For those who constantly seek support, their own resources may not feel enough, and their sense of safety is increased when they can rely on others.  Whilst in itself this is not always problematic, a child who resists ever be...

June 5, 2017

This blog has been written to encourage children (and parents) to  help themselves with common feeling/states…..  (so that ignoring, over-reacting or using ‘calm down’ is not their only strategy)…

 Wouldn't it be nice to know that we could give our children the useful link between having a feeling and knowing what to do - and it is...

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